I was left with nothing but pieces of rotten clothes sealed all over my body. Unaware, tiny drops of fluid conquered my bulky cheeks and dropped on my dirty hands. Whenever I stare at the dim room where I was left, the only thing that comes to my mind was loneliness. Loneliness like my body excruciating from the pain that killing me slowly. I leaned closer along the window where I see tremendous happiness marked on the visage of gorgeous people. I am nothing compared to them. My whole life is just pent in this closed gloomy place like hell.
I live on silence and my ears were irritated on it. I only heard scratching and some strange sounds which I didn’t know where they come from. But came this time where I see light coming through a small hole over there. I can see its moving. Becoming larger and larger. I can hear sounds, voices that is similar to what I heard along the window. I can feel relief. I don’t know why. As the light penetrated the dusky room. I feel hope.
Uso sa classroom kapag ng iissue na ng grades si instructor eh mabenta ang tanong na “ui ilan ka? ilan ang grade mo?” tapos pag nalaman na at mas mataas ang grade ng nagtatanong eh move on to the next classmate at ito naman ang susunod niyang kukulitin. Ngunit pag mas mababa naman siya at mas mataas ang tinatanong niya natural pupuriin niya iyo. “ikaw na, ikaw na talaga”. Ewan ko ba why do some people keep on comparing themselves to others. tapos pag bumababa na yung taong pinagcocompare nila sa sarili nila eh may relief silang nararamdaman. Nakakairita minsan yung mga classmates na ganyan. We’re in the school to learn, at hindi para makipagcompete. kung sabagay, siguro may tulong din yun para mag strive hard pa tayo sa ating pag-aaral. But, kung sobra na, hindi na maganda yun.
hindi matapos-tapos ang stress. pano ba naman, after the exams, hintay ako ng hintay ng grades ko sa SLU website tapos paisa-isa silang nagdadatingan na habang may nagpapop-out na grade eh parang baril na handang pumutok sayo na wala kang magawa dahil nakatali ka(ano daw?).Nakakakaba as in parang basta nakakanerbyos. tapos compute ako ng compute para malaman average ko at para rin malaman kung pasok pa ako sa dean’s list. ay grabe. samahan pa ng tawag ni mama at tanong niyang “di pa ba nakapost grades niyo sa website?tignan mo na.” ay grabe lang talaga.
Sa totoo lang, I’m getting a hard time thinking kung ano ang ipopost ko dito sa blog ko. I want to write something kaso blurred ang utak ko. I was like, may sense ba tong sinusulat ko?then ieerase lahat at sasabihing next time nalang at magiiscroll down to read some posts of other people. tapos ganun ulit ang mangyayari. I want to express myself siguro masyado lang akong conscious sa mga babasa ng blog ko. Baka sabihin nila ganito ganyan. yung mga critisicms o kaya violent reactions. ewan ko ba masyado akong napapangunahan ng takot. Para ngang sumosobra na ang pagiging introvert ko. I think kailangan ko ng mas maging matapang at iapply ang saying na “speak your mind and you’ll be heard”.
alam mo yung feeling na nakabalik ka na sa house niyo after the semester? ang awesome diba? kaso nafifeel ko ngayon is like blanko lang. alone eh nakakaboring din pala. hindi pa kasi tapos klase ng mga kapatid ko at si mama may trabaho, si papa nasa saudi. pero ok lang solo ko naman tong computer ngayon haha.
anyway, alam mo ang saya ng biyahe ko kahapon. Alam mo kung bakit? haha nagobserve ako ng people. yung tipong ginagawan mo sila ng kwento inside your mind. naeentertain ako. para akong nasa sinehan na hindi madilim. at ako ang direktor.
2011 was one of my most memorable year. Pano ba naman andaming nangyaring mga unforgettable moments at lalong lalo na mga big adjustments. This year I became a college student. tapos sa pagiging college student na iyan I experienced a lot of struggles. I became a civil engineering student then suddenly shifted to architecture. In other words this year is full of choices and decisions. In this way medyo nabago ang buhay ko. I was enrolled in a school far from home. At hindi madali iyon.
2011 was also the birth of weeshingwel. Dito I was able to express myself more, share my skills and deliver my feelings through writing. This is where I can see latest issues, grab some awesome ideas, and see people that are just awesome. Dito ako naiinspire gumawa ng mga magagandang bagay at mas lalo ko pang gustong mahasa ang aking mga skills.
This 2012 I can feel that this year will be great. maraming surprises na parating. And I’m sure majority of these surprises are some things that’ll make our life become better.
We can easily see the flaws and not the goodness in a person. Imagine a huge clean white board that has a tiny black dot in the center. We notice first the dot and ignoring the whole clean white board.
Whenever I watch pinoy horror films there’s this part of it that makes me laugh. I think maybe pinoys are too much happy so directors keep on putting comedic parts.
Segunda Mano’s a great movie. It has shocked many audiences maybe because of the sounds. My friends keep on shouting like a bomb (huh?). The story’s good, I find it very nice. There’s this logic in the film that makes it different from the others. I just want all the horror movies of kris aquino because you can really differentiate it from other horror films.
The special effects are quite good. I want the smoky red effect when the casts’ names were flashing. But there’s something in the effect on the ghost Angelica Panganiban that was not that scary. It’s like a malfunctioning projector. It could be better if they didn’t put any special effects anymore because I think it could appear more realistic.
I was about to think stuffs to make me busy in the cyberworld but then it seems that my laziness holds me back. I was about to do my part on our research in our filipino class but my brain seems not in a good mood. I want to make an art thing in the photoshop for my cover in the facebook but my mind doesn’t give me good ideas. So due to my brain not functioning well tonight I’ve decided to explore my facebook page. I scrolled up and opened my past pictures then I saw the shirt I designed for our curriculum when I’m in my 4th year. I scrolled down to read the comments. It’s actually has 105 comments. It makes me laugh because I’m like I don’t know haha. It seems that I’m reading my comments there like it’s not me, like its other person. I just realized that ganun pala ako magcomment noon?
There’s nothing permanent in this world but change.
We are all changing. From toes up to the tip of our hairs there are changes going on. We are in a life full of mysteries. We have millions of questions twirling in our confused minds.
People change. This is the reason why do people become different with their attitudes. Some became good and some became bad. This is due to our uncontrolled environment. We’re standing here on a world full of temptations and deceivers. It’s just that we, our own selves are the only thing that can control which path we are heading on.
God provides us certain persons that’ll guide us in order to achieve this control in our attitude. We have our family, they’re the number one persons that have a major part in molding our attitude because from the day we first opened our eyes to see the world up to the end they’re the ones that we can lean on.
Friends have a big part in determining who we are as a person. “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are”. When we are at school, we are together with them majority of the day. And sometimes when our parents are abroad we tend to seek our friends’ pieces of advice. Friends also have a role in our feelings. When we’re with them there’s this happiness like no other. This so-called barkada is one of the things that can make us smile and ease the pain whenever we have problems.
People who became good have a reason so as to people who became bad. All things have reasons why they exist. The only thing that we can understand the existence of something is that knowing the reason behind its existence.
We sometimes compare ourselves to others. Definitely because there’s this something in that person that we like that we don’t possess. We are unique, unique in our own way. God may make us physically alike but we are different with each other. We have different abilities and skills, but sometimes we intend to ask for more.
We can’t own everything.But we may learn many things. In this competitive world having a great knowledge of many things is a requirement to keep pace in our modern society. This isn’t an easy life, we’re like in a battlefield that has a million participants but only few will get the prize.
Just be yourself. Nowadays, being yourself seems a hard thing to do. Many people tend to be not true in their selves. It’s just that they’re hiding their true identity. In showbiz what makes a celebrity keeps his/her fame is that his/her own identity, because that identity will mark the minds of the people. Because you are what you are, not other person but your own unique self.
Comparing yourself to others is not that bad. As long as it is good of course. Make it an inspiration. Make it a challenge for you to become better and you’ll never know you may go beyond and become the best someday.
"When you grow up you will wanna be just like you"
This year’s Christmas for me was totally different. I’m used to celebrate Christmas with all my relatives, but yesterday I celebrated it with my whole family. I’m happy because my family was together but there’s this sadness in my heart because it could be happier if we’re with lolo, lola, tito, titas and cousins.
I just received 2 shirts given by the lola of friend of mama in the office because I was making her some drawings when I was just a kid. I like it especially the violet one. I’m the kind of person who is not that very fond of gifts. it’s just that if there’s anyone who can give me then, thank you. because I believe that it’s the thought that matters.
Yesterday, one thing I looked forward to aside from seeing my relatives and friends was of course the food. I can’t resist helping myself whenever I saw the foods on the dining table and the refrigerator. I was just eating not thinking if i’ll be fat or something, I don’t care. Come on this is a once a year celebration, so let’s seize it.haha
But above all the most important thing was I’m happy and we’re all happy