To tell you the truth, I want to be better. I know I should never compare myself to others but I really can’t avoid it. Having a high standards to myself is pretty depressing. I can’t afford to fail. Even though I can tolerate failure and I think that’s good enough but It always retains in my mind for a long time and it slowly making me feel so small.
I’m very good at hiding my real emotions. I can’t even hate my classmates whenever they do something annoying to me. They know me as some nice classmate who can tolerate their annoying business. But actually I am working this bad thing of me. I don’t have much confidence in myself but I’m always having a hard time in being confident to others especially to the ones that I’m not close with. Because to tell you the truth I have a slight rough childhood. I always think they will judge me, they will say things that not even true at all and I hate that.
There’s so many things I want to say right now. It’s been a while since I posted some thoughts on my blog. I really just felt the need to write down my thoughts and it felt nice.